To fully appreciate why I’d write an article about “diminishing people,” it’s helpful to understand that the dictionary defines “diminish” as:

1.  Make or become less.
2. Make (someone or something) seem less impressive or valuable.

The given definitions raise the stakes considerably when one considers the effect that his or her associations with others—the wrong others—may have on their personal time, morale, and results. And while I suppose that it’s not politically correct to use a term like “diminishing people,” I should explain that I softened the verbiage considerably from my working title: “Dolts, Dullards & Derelicts,” which in some respects I still prefer. Frankly, to deny that diminishing people exist in most workplaces, or to dismiss that they have the potential to derail your day, week, month, or life, would be incredibly naïve. If you’re committed to growing yourself, your people, and your organization, it’s important to depart Pollyanna-land and face reality about certain individuals and respond accordingly; embracing those who elevate you, while you disassociate with those who have the potential to devastate you.   

Understanding the impact of “diminish,” it should be clear why a productive person wouldn’t want to spend much time around a diminisher, as well as why a leader would shun hiring or keeping them.  But sometimes you can be too close to diminishing people to discern that they do indeed diminish you, others, and your culture. While the five laws I’ll present apply to associations in all of life’s arenas, this particular article is intended to address diminishers in the workplace. To help you gain perspective as to who these folks might be, familiarize yourself  withThe Five Laws of Diminishing People below:

The Five Laws of Diminishing People:

1. People with nothing to do want to do it with you.
2. People with nothing to say always say far too much.
3. People with no vision reduce yours to their comfort zone.
4. People with low morals, who fall for everything, assail your standards, as you stand for something.
5. People who think of themselves too much and who think too much of themselves, don’t think too much of others or think of others too much.

Perhaps these might be worth reviewing with your team to help them evaluate their own tendency to either add value to others and their workplace, or to drain value from them.

If you share the workplace with diminishing people, spend much time around them, and allow them to influence you, they will affect you in the following progression:

1. Listening to their failed life philosophies and excuses will distract and deplete you.
2. You may gradually become desensitized to their loser’s limps, incompetence, character shortfalls, or rationalizations for failure. As a result, you will catch yourself saying, doing, or defending some of the same things they do that you currently find abhorrent.
3. Your personal approach to others may regress from stretching and elevating them to comforting them in their mediocrity. In addition, the energy you expend in indulging or nurturing diminishing people will leave you little or no time to help the productive members of your team grow and reach their potential. In effect, you will weaken the strong as you coddle the weak.

Diminishing people are one of the many aspects of life that you must give up in order to go up.  Even if you work at the desk right next to a diminishing person, you can limit the amount of time you spend listening to and dwelling on their words and deeds. You can also refuse to enable or encourage their diminishing language, attitudes, and actions by changing the subject or simply moving on to something else when they begin to infect your space.

Sadly, diminishing people are sometimes in your immediate or extended family. If you’re stuck with this unfortunate situation, I can only recommend the same three things that have helped me endure and survive like conditions: ear plugs, Advil, and Ambien.